Boundaries

A few people know about my New Year's Resolution to start using boundaries.

The reason for this is that I take on way too much with everything I do outside of work. I am a "Yes" girl. If someone needs something quickly I am the go to girl. Say I have a sewing client that needs something urgently, I get it done for them, usually at the expense of my relationship with my husband or my sanity. I have spent many nights staying up until 2 or 3 on a work night to complete projects.

Sometimes I donate time to help friends/groups on their projects with no compensation whatsoever. The main problem with a lot of this work is that it is usually nearly thankless and the majority of the time I feel taken advantage of. I am lucky to be able to do so many things well and help people that need it, but it gets very irritating.

So the resolution was to help me learn to say "No" or "Enough" when I feel tired or beat down and just can't handle any more.

I have really worked on this a lot and it definitely has helped my sanity. It is hard to say "No" to someone who needs help, but I just can't keep killing myself trying to get things done for people and feeling like crap afterward since I only got like 4 or 5 hours of sleep at night for days.

What really brought this on was last year when I was in Roller Derby and I was asked to make award sashes for the end of season award ceremony. I worked on them for a month and the number of sashes doubled during the project. 30 beauty queen style sashes with sequin trim and hand cut sparkly letters. I got them done and nearly lost my sanity in the process. Did I get a thank you or recognition for the 90+ hours I put in (this is time outside a full-time job)? Of course not. I knew after that I had to change something.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I like doing things to help people, but there has to be a boundary or limit. Does anyone else have problems setting boundaries/limits?